Will turned one on August 30th! Wow!!! What a year & what a weekend to celebrate it with friends & family! Will had his portraits made by Sarah Green last week with a cake. She was gracious enough to let me take a few of my own for a project I'm working on. As soon as the proofs are ready, I'll post the link- I know they'll be fabulous as his 9 month ones she took were great! Thanks, Sarah for capturing Will for us so beautifully!
I'll post party pics soon but thought I'd share a few thoughts about Will turning one first. I've been very emotional for the last several weeks as his birthday has been quickly approaching. It really does go by so very quickly. One of Will's doctors recently asked me several great questions. One, she asked if perhaps the reason I'm dreading Will turning one is because I realize that the older he gets, the closer he gets to the day he realizes he is different. I think she was right on target. I love his innocence & his total comfort with himself wherever he is. I hope he stays the social, extrovert that he seems to be but I fear him becoming more self- conscious as he grows older. The second question she asked was what I love most about being Will's mom. Wow- that's a tough one to answer. Not because I don't know but because I can't pinpoint a single thing I love the MOST about being his mom. So, I thought I'd share lots of things I've really loved about being Will's mom this year & things I love about Will.
I think what has been especially difficult for me this past week is the realization that some of these things can't last forever (or if they did, I'd be put in an institution or taken away from Will or something!) For instance, I LOVE to kiss the warm little spot on his neck below his ears... it smells like boy & mustela shampoo & kind of like a little bit of vinegar. I probably can't kiss him there when he is 25 - that would be weird.
I love to rock him & hold him really tight (he giggles). I love to rock him. (Again, can't do that when he is 16.)
I love singing our songs with him. (Sometimes he sings along in the car.)
I love the way his little hand feels as he caresses me while we rock.
We love to dance together (Will is especially fond of dips & spins.)
I LOVE to smell his breath. Okay, I admit this probably confirms for you how weird I am but he has the best smelling breath. I get now why they named a flower "Baby's Breath." I like to hold him out in front of my face with my nose right at his mouth & just inhale. It's the most wonderful smell in the world. Will just smiles & puts up with me. Reagan thinks I'm weird. I don't care... I really know I can't do this one for much longer.
I love how soft his skin is & I'm struggling lately with how rough his knees have become from crawling.
I love to watch him crack up laughing- toss his head back, roll on the floor, just completely lose himself in laughter.
I LOVE his smile. I am overwhelmed with gratefulness for his smile because this time last year, I didn't know if he would ever be able to smile at me. I used to imagine other ways he could convey happiness... I am so thankful he can smile so beautifully!
I've so loved all the newness of this past year. It's so fun to experience the world through little eyes- to watch him discover something like the warmth of sunlight or the joy of splashing or how to roll rolly-pollies or what rain feels like on your face. I'm thankful for another year ahead of more discoveries.
He's recently learned how to give kisses when I say, "besame." I LOVE his slobbery, open mouthed kisses. It's like slow motion as he comes at my mouth with his wide open & plants a big, precious kiss. And he likes to do it over & over again. Love that!
I love his voice - how high it gets when he is getting excited & how low & gravelly it is when he is talking.
I love his curly blonde hair.
As much as it kills me, I love that he is starting to show more independence... that he wants to & is able to feed himself, that he can move himself where he wants to go, etc.
I've loved all the firsts of the last year & I'm so thankful that the "firsts" don't end at year one- I'd really be a wreck then!
I've loved being able to witness his firsts.
I love his outgoing personality - the fact that he likes to talk to everyone he sees in parking lots, grocery stores, airports, etc. He is not shy - will wave at everyone & flirt & make sure they smile at him. Quite the little extrovert, my Will.
I love how recently he has started "reading." He finds a book, turns the pages, & talks the whole time.
He thinks he's hilarious. Cracks me up.
He remains a cuddler- I love that! Recently, on weekend mornings, we've started to bring him to our bed for cuddle time. It's one of my favorite parts of the weekend now. I love how he snuggles up close & dozes.
I am so grateful that he still loves to be rocked & held & gently caresses me while I hold him. There's no better feeling in the world than cuddling with Will.
I can't possibly summarize what this year has been like. Our experiences in not knowing if & how long Will could survive, what the ramifications of his syndrome would be, what he would be able to do physically, whether or not he would survive surgery in April, etc. have made for a tough year. However, seeing all that he can and has accomplished, being able to hold him rather than just wonder what he may be like, watching his fun, outgoing personality develop, having the privilege to be a part of his world - I wouldn't trade any of this. I am so grateful to be his mom & I am forever grateful for the last year. As hard as it's been to admit he is now one, there is a teensy-weensy part of me that is starting to get really excited for all that this next year will hold! :)
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