You know you're a mom of a kid with limb differences when...

You know you are a mom of a kid with limb differences when you find yourself constantly thinking in terms of developmental milestones and therapy.  I was just sharing crying with my mom earlier today about how hard Ellie's therapy was this morning.   It is very difficult for me to learn all the steps correctly.  I am seriously regretting my college degrees in history and Spanish.  A lot of good it does me that I can quote random historical trivia in espanol while doing Ellie's taping and therapy.
I digress.
Therapy was difficult again.  I am very overwhelmed again. I haven't figured out how to fit time for taping in my days back home. (I can't even figure out how to fit in all the time required for three forms of therapy.) I am terrified I will screw up all the progress made so far and somehow delay her walking even further or cause it not to happen and deal with more guilt the rest of my life and she'll never love me and I'll gain 800 pounds.  (This is my brain on sleep deprivation and extreme stress.)
I digress.
So, I'm sharing crying with my mom about how everything feels like work with both of my kids.  Even   when we are playing, I am mentally noting how various forms of "play" accomplish certain therapy goals.  ie:  soccer is important for balancing on one leg and quickly changing directions.  I feel like just playing with Ellie on the floor I am working as I am constantly trying to do her leg or arm or neck therapy.  And when I'm not - when I am truly just playing with her or even letting her play by herself so I can do laundry/clean/cook/use the bathroom alone/do something with Will/visit with R/ etc, then I feel extreme guilt as I am wasting time I should be spending helping her.  And when I just let her sleep during a nap, I feel guilt if I am not going in frequently to reposition her for therapy purposes.  (In this case, the guilt remains as I hate to mess up a good nap for my baby.)  The same is true for Will - everything we do causes my brain to run through a mental checklist of skills that activity helps him accomplish.
Obviously, I have a huge struggle with mommy guilt.
I also have a sickness.  a therapy obsessive sickness.
Please, can I check into a spa for a week and see if that cures me?  Preferably a spa in Tahiti.

So, back to my story.  Forgive my verbose post.
I tell my mom all this through my tears while Will is using the bathroom.  He calls me and I run in to help him wipe and he announces that he is still going.  He goes through this routine twice.
Finally, he is finished.
And when I walk back into the bathroom, there is human excrement on his bare legs.
And rather than be completely grossed out, I ask him (while trying to hide my excitement), "how did you do that?"
To which he promptly demonstrates how he accomplished said task.
And a sense of relief came over me - he will be able to independently use the bathroom!!!  Something we've secretly wondered about for 3 years!
And then I told my mom - who had the exact same reaction.  (Because obviously I've brainwashed her into milestone thinking too.)
And then we got grossed out & promptly stripped him and put him in the tub.
Where I gave him a bubble bath.  In this case, I didn't think Burt's Bee's organic bubble bath would be strong enough.  So I poured some Dial antibacterial handsoap in the tub.

And that's how you know you are a mom of a child with limb differences:  when a disgusting experience actually brings you relief and joy as you realize it signifies a huge step towards independence for your child

The end.

(ps- if I grossed you out with this story, I apologize.  My child has never before played with his waste.  This was a first experience for him.  He now is clean and napping and smells like Dial handsoap.)

(pss- feel free to share your own child's poop stories in the comments.  I could use some good laughs today to stop my constant flowing tears. :))

(psss- if you are the mom of a child with limb differences or special needs, do you find yourself also constantly thinking in terms of developmental goals?  Am I alone here?  Do I need help or is this normal?  What do you find yourself celebrating that upon reflection you can't believe you are proud of?  (ie:  I remember vividly the first time Will grabbed a toy from another child - while I had to tell him "no", inside I was jumping to the moon with excitement that he could grab a toy from someone with ten fingers!)

The Toothless Wonder Lives On...

Just in case anyone out there cares, I was supposed to finally get a real tooth today...
Since the swimming class injury last March & my mouth surgery (implant + bone graft), I have lived with a prosthetic. It hasn't been too big a deal - kind of annoying when eating certain foods & my husband isn't too crazy about my redneck self but it's okay.
However, today was the day. I was so excited to bid it a fond farewell & receive my new tooth. I managed to figure out some sort of childcare for the 30 minute deal. An hour into it, we realized that we were having "tissue difficulties" & there was no way we would be done in time for me to get Will...
so I left the dentist's office with cotton in my mouth to hurry & get Will & bring him back with me. Fortunately, from my doctor's visit yesterday, I still had my "surviving a doctor's visit with a kid emergency supply pack" in the car. Unfortunately, I did not have "Will's doctor stuff" & he was rather disappointed about that. He stood by my legs & watched a train movie & held my hand while the dentist continued working on my mouth until R could pick him up - about an hour later.
And, then it was over. There was a slight imperfection in the tooth so after 2 hours & all that excitement, I remain toothless. Maybe later this month I'll finally get a real tooth.
All I want for Christmas is my front tooth. (And, thanks to a lack of insurance coverage, that is all I'm getting!)