I wish I could claim that I had written this but I didn't. It was passed to me but I thought it was maybe a really good analogy - at least for where we are at at this time.
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with special needs- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!" you say. "What do you mean, Holland??? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out & buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. (Boy, isn't that the truth in our "new world!")
It's just a different place. It's slower paced than Italy, less flashy then Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around ... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills...and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy...and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away ... because the loss of that dream is a very, very, very significant loss.
But ... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things... about Holland.
-Emily Perl Kingsley
9 thoughts:
Reagan, Katie and Sweet Baby, I found your blog through a number of other blogs and saw a prayer request for you and wanted to visit your site. You have such an amazing attitude and a sweet spirit, your precious baby is already so blessed with wonderful parents! I will be thinking of you this week as you travel to Dallas. I have a dear friend that works at Scottish Rite and this is an amazing hospital! I pray that you have a safe trip here and that God will provide you with comfort and wisdom as you meet with the doctors and that God will give the doctors wisdom and sensitivity. Many prayers for you here in the Dallas area!
Regina
As a mom of a child with heart defects, I know how true "Welcome to Holland" is! I have experienced many of the emotions that you are going through. Know that you are in my prayers. I pray that God will not allow for one bit of your joy to be stolen. This little baby is and will be such a precious gift, and God already is using him/her to work out His will! Praise God for his promise to work all things together for good!
Reagan, Katie, and Baby,
You don't know me, but I am Jenny Holloway's mom from Mississippi. She was a sorority sis of EJ's at MS STATE. Her blog is The Holloways on EJ's site. Anyway, I am the mother of a special needs child-29 years old on July 2. Jenny's older brother. He has a rare form of epilepsy which caused him to lose all of his ability to communicate when he was 11 years old, and he has to be totally cared for. I am lifting you up in prayer daily, and I can tell you from experience that God will walk ahead of you every second of the day. He is never surprised. He also knows your heart, and he knows that, even though you accept this challenge, you are disappointed. But.....He already knows all the wonderful things that await you with this precious child. I can look back for the past 18 years and see His faithfulness in every circumstance. In John 9, the disciples questioned Jesus about the man born blind, as to whether it was him or his parents that had sinned. Jesus replied, "Neither..it's so others can see God at work (My paraphrase). I just wanted you to know from someone that has walked, and is still walking, this road...God is always good. You can't even imagine the blessings that this child is going to bring to you and others.
Praying for you,
Donna Manning
Columbus, Ms.
hi katie!
i got your blog thru someone else! this is nicki fretty wilson from baylor. i want you to know that my family is praying for your baby and for you and your husband. i am so touched by your words regarding your baby. i will be praying for all of your specifics and praying that this baby would be a child set apart with the love of Christ.
What a wonderful way to express your feelings. You are on the plane and you will land in a beautiful place. Praying for tomorrow. Jane
Reagan, Katie and little Jack or Ellie :) We are thinking of each of you and will be praying for you daily. God's grace is awesome and we know that each day holds new and wonderful blessings for your growing family.
Masseys (Chris, Ema and Evan)
Katie & Reagan,
Your faith is amazing! What a testimony you two will be as you show God's unconditional love for the special child that He made just for you. Thank you for showing that love and commitment for the rest of us to see. God be praised!
We can't wait to meet little Ellie/David.
Love & continued prayers,
Tim & Terri Dunn
Hey friends...The story is very beautiful. Thanks for sharing. We love you and are always here for you. Don't hesitate to ask...in the meantime...we are praying along with all of your other 'prayer warriors.' All our love, EJ & Forrest
Hi Katie, Just wanted you to know that my husband, Greg, and I are so saddened by what you are going through but also so encouraged by your faith and perseverence. I am reminded of the awesome God we serve....how much He loves us and sustains us through everything we face. I am praying for you every day. A friend at church today said she is praying for the miracle healing for your baby. Of course, we would all love that and praise God for it. But, it also seems to me that God has used this precious little life already to show His great love, provision, and just WHO He is. I have been blessed, humbled, encouraged, & uplifted by you, Reagan, and your parents in this journey.
Looking forward to seeing you on the 19th.
Love, Darla Anderson
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