Whew - What a Day!

I have pictures but haven't had time or energy to upload them... I'll do that soon.

Here's how yesterday went:

7:30am- wake up Will early to go to my exercise class - leave class early to run home & change to leave for airport

around 10- get call just before leaving for airport. Dallas Children's Hospital (where Will's appointments were scheduled yesterday) called to inform me that the doctor was backed up in surgeries & they needed to cancel his appointment. I may or may not have exploded in tears which may or may not be hormone related. (Actually, I definitely burst into sobs, let's be honest.) I was adamant that we were leaving for the airport- had 2 round trip tickets (thank you, KC friends for Will's ticket!), live 6 hours by car away from Dallas & needed these appointments. I was extremely frustrated with the situation - I don't live close enough to Dallas to allow me a lot of flexibility in situations like this. I needed the doctor's & speech pathologist's opinions regarding Will's recent surgery. I don't like when my plans don't go the way I planned. Did I mention I was a sobbing mess?

One of the most difficult things in parenting Will has been learning how to be his advocate. For some reason, lately, I have had to put my new found advocating skills to practice quite a bit. I don't particularly enjoy this because I am not confrontational and I am a people pleaser. I don't want to make anyone mad at me - especially people who are working with my son. But, I owe it to him sometimes to advocate - whether it be for treatment or vocabulary or protecting him and his rights. I've already had to do it at prospective preschools as well as with doctor offices. My struggle yesterday was that I wanted to advocate for us in that I didn't think the appointment scheduler understood that we do not live anywhere near the hospital and therefore spend a great deal of time/expense getting there. I can't be as flexible as I would like and, for instance, just reschedule for Friday. It just doesn't work like that when you have to book a flight, arrange transportation and hotels or somewhere for your kid to take a nap. Moreover, we've recently paid a lot of money for surgery and I feel as a paying customer we should have some rights. But, I also kept reminding myself and feeling convicted about several things (thanks to Andrew Murray's Humility - a very convicting book I am studying currently.) First, I was convicted that the world does not revolve around me, yet I was acting as though this woman should be bending over backwards to make me happy. Second, who am I to think I deserve to have my plans go the way I think is best? Who am I to demand my appointment times?
Yet, I was conflicted because while these convictions are valid, it is also a valid concern that I was not notified until practically leaving for the airport about the cancellation, etc. It is a valid concern that I have paid for services and yet might not get to see the doctor. Therefore, I am struggling (still) on how to voice concerns when things like this happen (this isn't the first time) and accomplish goals (seeing the doctor and speech pathologist in this case) while also being humble and gracious. Any help on this would be greatly appreciated!!!

(At the airport, I did call and ask forgiveness from the woman I had spoken to earlier. I apologized for taking my frustration out on her and I explained that I understood it was not her fault- it was the situation I was frustrated with. Thankfully, she forgave me and I could let go of the guilt that was hounding me! I think she was surprised by my call (perhaps she thinks I have an alter-ego?)

10:30 - at the airport at last & headed through security - yet another new TSA agent who doesn't seem to know the TSA rules regarding prosthetics. I would like to print them out in size 72 print & put them on a posterboard or on his shirt so that I don't have to explain the rules to the agents every single time I fly ... which is about twice a month.

Finally through security - Will is a champ & knows exactly which chair to sit in & how to hold his arms out straight & stiff (like airplane wings) while he is padded down. He's 2 - kind of ridiculous but I tolerate it (because if I didn't I'd end up in jail. Sometimes jail sounds nice- if I could take my library book & someone else cooked a decent meal & I got to take naps. I also wouldn't have to plan my wardrobe. But, I wouldn't likely fit in too well & I would miss my friends & fam & freedom.)

11 something- We go to the women's restroom. As we are washing our hands, I set Will back down so that I can get us towels. He runs away from me. By the time I get out of the restroom (left my purse & our stuff just sitting in there), I see security guards running for the men's restroom. My son has run into the men's restroom. The security guard brings him out (both of them are laughing.) I'm laughing hysterically (inside - I can't let Will see that) & put on my stern face & take him back to the women's restroom for his first ever airport spank. (This was foreshadowing several more "fun" bathroom experiences we would have during the day.)

(If you have read Dobson's Bringing Up Boys then you would know why my initial reaction to my son being alone in a men's restroom was instant fear. He was in there a total of about 2 seconds but still - that awful chapter was fresh on my mind.)

The flight was nonevental - the way I like them. Will is a great traveler & I am so thankful. We read stories, ate lunch, watched a movie, & cuddled lots.

When we landed in Dallas, we went to the restroom again. While I was washing my hands, he ran back into the stall & locked himself in it. At least I knew where he was. I was also grateful I would not be requiring another security guard as he figured out how to unlock the door.

We met my mom outside who drove up to help drive us around & also to provide a car seat & pack & play so I wouldn't have to lug that with me. We then drove to the hospital. They ended up not cancelling my appointment after I begged & had a meltdown previously that morning but they told me instead to just come to the hospital & plan on spending all afternoon (1-5ish) sitting in the waiting room and the doctor would see us when he could. They could give me no time estimate which made planning a nap for Will super difficult and stressful.

When we arrived at the hospital and were walking down the halls, Will pitifully repeated quietly, "I don't want shots. I don't want shots." I stopped for a moment & explained he would not be having any shots or surgery today. Later, at the airport that night, he saw a woman in scrubs and immediately asked if she was a doctor. Bless his heart that at age 2 he already associates doctors and nurses with scrubs, shots, and surgeries.

Amazingly (Thank you, God!), we only waited about 15 minutes before the speech pathologist showed up. I had been told that morning that there was no way she was coming to our appointment and she was not working that day. (This really upset me because the surgeon had told me she would come & then I had confirmed that with the scheduler when making the appointment.) Apparently, after my meltdown/ apology calls, the fabulous assistant to the surgeon called the speech path at home & she came up to see Will. Our appointment with her was good. She was very pleased with Will's language and communication skills- he is way over age 2 (ranking in the age 4 category) but it is impossible to tell how successful surgery was as both the letter "L" sound & the "TH" sound don't come in until ages 4 and 5. So, she couldn't definitely tell me if surgery was successful. Basically, she reminded me that Will has compensated and overcome challenges in lots of areas of life to be able to function like other kids and he may do that in speech as well. We just have to wait and see. (I get that answer from doctors a lot & it is tough as sometimes I just want a prognosis to deal with - a reality to accept versus a maybe/hopeful/wait and see.) So- I get to practice trusting & believing God for this too, I suppose, just like I did for smiles and laughter and walking and running and jumping and speaking.

Then, before we were even finished with her, the assistant showed up and was ready to escort us to see the surgeon who was in between surgeries. She took us to the operating area (we actually had our visit & consult with him out in the hallway - which seemed a little odd but I wasn't complaining at that point!) Will got freaked out and very clingy as the surgeon looked like, well, a surgeon. He had on his mask & his hat & I suppose it brought back some recent scary memories for my little guy. We all reminded him that the doctor wasn't cutting him today, bless his precious heart.

He was pleased with the results so far and gave us some advice to help avoid more scarring - there has been some already which is common with mouth surgeries but can set back the success of the surgery. Hopefully, there won't be much more scar tissue formed.
Turns out that the reason he was so backed up with surgeries is that he had traveled on a mission trip over the weekend to Haiti and just returned Monday night. He described the conditions to us and it broke my heart. I am so thankful for the hospitals & top surgeons we have access to. The surgeon looked exhausted and I was humbled (again - thanks Andrew Murray - or rather, God) as I realized that he had been doing mission work and that is why our appointments got messed up. Again, who am I?

This particular surgeon does a lot of mission trips & is putting us on his prayer list & website list so I'll have to post some updates - I think he plans on returning to Haiti again soon.
The surgeon was hopeful and very positive about surgery although he too couldn't give me a definitive yes or no as to the possibilities of future surgeries. He'll see Will again in 6-9 months and we'll just see at that time what he says, I suppose. Basically, both the speech pathologist & surgeon felt very hopeful & positive that Will will overcome his challenges & hopefully avoid future surgeries. They were pleased with the progress that they are able to see at this point since his surgery & they will know more in about 2 years when those other letter sounds come in.
Thankfully, we got out of the hospital in time for Will to get an hour nap before heading to the airport again.

At the Dallas airport, we had one of our funnier security experiences. Every single time we fly, I get told by someone (usually the TSA agent) to remove Will's shoes. And I always have to politely remind them that you don't remove the shoes of someone who wears prosthetics during airport securities. Last night, this happened as usual. But then, about 5 passengers in the security line beside me began yelling at me, "HIS SHOES! TAKE OFF HIS SHOES!" I was trying so hard not to laugh while at the same time get through security (or at least begin our process.) I just kept saying "THEY'RE PROSTHETICS!" It was like I was speaking Swahili. No one got it. Including the TSA agent who so faithfully was guarding that metal detector and was not letting my curly blonde headed blue eyed 2 year old through with shoes on. I slowly explained to him that they are prosthetic legs. I walked through to show him that I would not set off the metal detector. Will was understandably afraid to walk through so they sent me out to get him & carry him through. Surprise, surprise, we set it off. So, the man ordered me back through by myself. I explained, again, that Will wears prosthetics- they have metal in them - that is why the machine was beeping. He didn't get it & ordered me back through. I went & the machine was silent. He still didn't get it. I explained again & finally someone got a clue & sent us to the little glass room for the pat down/explosives screening/wanding process. It was something.

The good thing for Will was that immediately after that he got to walk on the moving sidewalk which was very exciting. Next step, Six Flags!

At our gate, Will was thrilled to see a real life "Cowboy Man!" He begged to talk to him & I gave him permission to go and introduce himself to him. I love that Will is not afraid to engage in conversation with adults. (I think this might be due to the fact that at such an early age he has to have lots of atypical conversations with doctors and therapists that most 2 year olds just don't experience. He has a lot of adults in his young life!) He confidently strode up to that Cowboy Man and introduced himself and informed he that he too is a cowboy. They talked about farm animals and cowboy hats and boots & Will was just enthralled. (Meanwhile, I just stood to the side & observed my little man.) Then, the man gave Will a high-five. My heart about exploded with pride when, after the high-five, Will said, "I want to shake your hand, Cowboy Man." Will stuck out his hand & the Cowboy shook his hand. Oh, my little man!

We boarded our delayed flight & had a lovely nightime flight across Texas. Upon landing, I experienced the highlight of a very long, exhausting, draining, difficult day. Prior to opening the cabin doors, everyone was standing in the aisle patiently waiting to leave. The airplane was SILENT. Will was standing in the aisle & suddenly looked to his left and there was the Cowboy Man. He said, "Do you live in a barn?" Will was dead serious. The Cowboy Man returned Will's serious stare and answered him, "I've sometimes been accused of it when I leave the door open." About 10 seconds later, the plane erupted in laughter! Will was satisfied with his answer and off we went.
I've been laughing about that all day.

Thanks for praying for our safety & appointments. We appreciate you!