Ellie in the Belly- 37 weeks

We made it!!! Ellie in the Belly at term!!!

37 weeks!

I am typing this quick update from my phone in a hospital bed in labor & delivery in Tyler. Went for weekly bpp and sweet, unpredictable Ells didn't do her breathing exercises so my new dr sent me to hospital for further monitoring.
Currently Ellis not passing her NST so the nurse just had me order lunch & juice so hopefully that will help her pass.
I'm counting my blessings in that this is a comfy hosp bed and I have a book- forced relaxation.
If she doesn't pass, he said he will send me to Dallas this afternoon.
Sweet, precious, often unpredictable Ellie.
Pray we get to stay put here for a few more days please. And hopefully Will will forgive me for not being able to go swimming before nap time like I had promised him back when I thought this would be a quick appointment- 2 hours ago...
It breaks my heart not to be reliable and keep my word to Will. I called a minute ago with tears in my eyes to say I'm sorry & explain that I am in a hosp & he was quite happy. He has his Lovie dressed as a princess with a crown & sceptor & he is a knight who had to rescue her from the dragon. And he turned me into a frog while we were talking. And then I had to be a puppy. Guess he is ok. :)
Update- food not here yet & Ellie still "nonreactive" though she is hiccuping. I have been playing her her fav songs on my phone.

Update at 3:40- ells finally passed her nst- after 2 hrs! Dr kept me on a bit longer just to be safe before discharging me. I love just listening to her heartbeat. He spoke with Dallas dr and they decided they can't wait til Tuesday (delivery day!!!) to check her again so I will be back in Dallas for monitoring on Friday.
So thankful not to be in ambulance right now headed for Dallas!

Can I just point out that the label "nonstress" test is the most ridiculous label in the world??? For over 2 hours today, I was hooked up to that machine and it was actually quite stressful as I wondered if Ellie would pass. UGH - who named it that?!?!?

Today was rough. Ellie has always passed her BPP - even at the last minute. Today, she just never did her breathing exercises. The doctor pointed out that babies' breathing is sporadic in the womb. They are just practicing - they don't actually need to breathe in there (there is not air.) So, it can be hit and miss on catching them. However, usually within a thirty minute time frame you ought to see some breathing. I turned every which way today and we poked and prodded and no such luck.

So, the stressful NST. The most we have ever kept Ellie on this monitor was for an hour. Not today. Two and a half hours nearly. She finally passed but we had to feed & buzz her.

Oh how I love this precious babe. And how she is stressing her mama out!

I have read that allowing siblings to express themselves, to talk about emotions and the tension of having a medically fragile sibling can be very important for their ability to process. This morning, prior to my appointment, Will told his Lovie & I that it makes him scared when Mommy has to walk away. (This breaks my heart as I worry about the next several weeks.)

I have read that some kids respond to art therapy as a means of expression. Will doesn't sit still very long for arts and crafts - pretend play is more of an outlet for him. Tonight, he wanted his doctor kit and he climbed onto my bed for story time and proceeded to be Dr. Will. I was a "mommy with a little boy and a baby girl." (Hmmm - sounds familiar.) He then checked Ellie in the Belly. He checked her heartbeat (even made beating sounds - he has heard her heartbeat a lot thanks to my home doppler.) Heartbeat good. He checked her blood pressure - a little high apparently. He gave her shots but reassured her it was medicine and it wouldn't hurt. He sat on my legs at one point - something no doctor has ever done. He checked her ears. He got a little frustrated with her when trying to check her temperature - she wasn't moving her arm very well apparently for him to get the thermometer in her armpit. This was a good opportunity to remind him that her arms don't work as well as his right now so that might be hard for her. He got Nurse Lovie at one point to help him as they had a "sick baby." And he kissed her and told her he was a really nice doctor and wasn't going to hurt her. And then he said she was fine.

And my heart got a little heavier. I'm glad he plays already with her - even though she is in the belly. And I'm thankful he can express himself through play -it gives me the opportunity to discuss things with him and feel him out.

But days like today are hard and long and stressful and emotionally draining.

Less than a week and she will be here. It's surreal to me. I long to meet her and hold her but I dread the unknowns. I am so thankful she has made it to term. I am so sad that our time with her so close to me is nearly over.