Highs & Lows

 This morning, a friend called to tell me a funny story.  Apparently, her daughter who happens to be a sweet friend of Will's, announced this week that she plans on marrying Will.
When her mother said Oh, really?
The cute little girl replied, "Well.  We were thinking about it."
And that had me smiling all day.
When I asked Will about it, he nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders (as only a boy can do when it comes to matters of love) and said ever so casually, "Well, Mommy, she is in love with me."
As if that settles it.

I reminded him of two things:
1.  He can marry whomever he wants, as long as she loves God, loves him, & loves me.
2.  He is way too young to think about marrying and doesn't need to worry about it for a long time.  Right now, he can just be friends.
He loves long walks (runs) on the beach at sunset.
And I breathed deeply. 
Because last week, someone at school told him he needed to marry a girl with hand and feet differences like him.  
So he began to look around and he told his daddy and I that he wasn't seeing any girls on tv or anywhere with hand and feet differences like him and what if he couldn't find someone to marry just like him?
We reassured him - he could marry whomever he wants (you know, assuming she loves God & me too.)  We told him he could marry a girl with hand and feet differences and that would be awesome or he could marry someone with typical hands and feet and that would be great too - and that probably it won't matter to him or her what their hands and feet look like since they will be in love.

So that phone call today and his nonchalant response?
Reassured my heart.

Will - age 4 1/2
Until we sat around the dinner table tonight.  As I served my family their dinner, he told me that a little girl today teased him about his hands.  She tricked him into doing something and then she mocked him.
She told him he "was born wrong."
And he believed her.
I did everything I could.  I spoke truth and reminded him of all we have taught him - God doesn't create "wrong."  Will is created with purpose and intent.  He is designed by a Creator who adores him.  He is not an exception to scripture and the Bible affirms in Psalms 139 that we are "knit in our mother's wombs - fearfully and wonderfully made."  Ephesians tells us we are "God's masterpiece."
He is "right."

But I saw that he had begun to believe her.  I'm not sure exactly when this happened.  At what point did some random girl's words become more significant than mine?
Some little girl mocked my boy today.  Some little girl brought tears to our dinner table.  
He pointed out that his hands and feet are unlike anyone's in our family - and he proceeded to name as many people as he could from both sides - all with typical hands and feet.
I countered with the names of our two friends - located in two different countries- many miles away - who have similar hands and feet to Will.
And I rocked him at the table.  
I scooped him into my arms and I held my boy and I kissed those hands - hands I've been researching how to print and mold prior to his upcoming surgery - and I told him I loved him.  
I spoke truth to him.  
He may be talking about marrying one girl and hurting from another little girl but he's not too big to curl up in my lap at the dinner table.
Then I excused myself to go to my room for a moment where I had a quick little cry.
Conversations like this?  They are hard.  Really hard.

I know this is character building and he will be stronger for it and yada yada yada, but sometimes, I wish I could keep him carefree and innocent to the hurt.

Will - age 3 1/2

3 thoughts:

Miles said...

I'm sorry Katie. :( That is heartbreaking. Kids can be so cruel.

He hears your truth. He trusts your truth. So keep it up mama!


ywilbur said...

Sorry! I think it just gets harder and harder as they get older. Kids constantly tell JK his hands are weird, freaky, etc.. and list all the people they know with 'normal' hands. He went through his innocent phase, then angry, then hurt, and finally he is 'hardened'. Just Monday a boy was loudly doing this at library, pointing and came up and we are at point we can just role our eyes and play it off as inside joke. He did once end a dinner prayer iwth 'and please make me a hand'. When I asked what he'd do differently with a new hand he said 'be awesome'. He often talks, like weekly, about how when he gets to Heaven he is definately getting new hands or 'I'm not staying'. His feet not so much but hands are his big thing.

Christie Minich said...

Oh it just breaks my heart that some mean spirited girl hurt Will and you.

Why can't parents teach their children to be kind? It is just baffling.

Sarah is much more shy about her hands and legs now that she is older. She really didn't care before, but she does now.
She used to not care about what others said, now at 13 she does.:(

And our hearts hurt for our children.

We were at the hospital this week for surgery. Santa arrived in a Helicopter! She went to see him and when she came back to me she had a shy look... "Santa said that I'm gorgeous!" :)

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