1.18.2013

Surgery day

We spent all day yesterday in pre-op at the hospital. We were wiped out and after a short nap holding my boy's hand, we headed to the hospital park for some much needed play time. We were told no running or impact play for the next 4-6 weeks. So we ran and did as much hard playing as we could until they closed the park.
We have been up since 5am.
Surgery began at 10:20. It's been a long morning. Already, will has had some fun visitors- Aunt Claire, Mrs. Cay (his Sunday school coordinator), Lovie, & some hospital friends.
Please pray for protection in surgery, effective results, pain management, and his heart as he wakes up and fully comprehends the immobilization of his hand (& he is pretty dependent on using both of his hands to accomplish all tasks.) he did express to nurse this morning his concerns about how he will play when he is casted. Oh my heart.
I'm basically a wreck- handing over my child to surgery is awful.
In 5.5 years of parenting, I've handed over my children 6 times now for surgery. I hate it every single time. It never gets easy.

The hardest things in parenting so far, I think, are:
Handing a child over for surgery
Blood draws and ivs
Signing release paperwork that mentions risks of "death" & "brain damage." Why can't I just promise not to sue and not actually have to initial beside all those gut wrenching words?
Holding them after a child has mocked them and being unable to take away that hurt
Answering unbelievably hard questions they ask about their medical conditions and why they are born different.
Making unbelievably difficult surgery and treatment decisions with no real training or medical education and knowing my child has to live with the results of each decision affecting them for every day of the rest of their lives.
Pretty much I have done almost all of these things in the last 48 hours.
I adore these children and I love our life and I am so thankful for options and surgeons and compassionate and supportive friends and family.
I am.
But, man, days like this are so, so hard. My heart hurts for my baby.
As soon as he is out, I plan on holding my baby and having another good Naptime cry.

(On a lighter note, Ellie is having a blast playing with her Honey this week. She told me she plans on dressing Honey up as Cinderella and Ellie will be Baby Jesus. I so hope Honey takes pictures!)
(Sorry pics probably are in crazy order- am laying on a hospital bed trying to distract myself and doing this from phone.)

3 thoughts:

Pat said...

Saying a prayer for Will's comfort and healing, the surgeon's steady hands and clear thoughts, and your peace with all of your decisions and the outcomes.

Christie Minich said...

What is this particular surgery going to accomplish? Praying it does all it is supposed to do! Bless your hearts.

The Reeves bunch said...

Praying for you! I have been thinking of you all day...praying that Will has a good night!

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