Baseballs, Butterflies, & Blessings: L'chaim

After the reception, Will & my little brother, Adam (he's not so little anymore! :)) played a piano duet for Gigi

The neighborhood "grandkids" & Gigi at the reception

Adam, Dorothy (Gigi), & I

Just a few weeks ago, Bubby sold their house & moved Dorothy & himself into an assisted living apartment. They had lived in their house for 60 years. It was just another great example of how he prepared for & provided for & protected his wife- just weeks before his death getting their home sold and a new place for her to live. Days later, he moved to Hospice.
When they sold their home, they got rid of so much but they wanted to save a few things to give to people. Dorothy presented Adam with a really neat table built by Bubby and to me, she gave a fur stole- which had been a gift to her from our other neighbor/adopted grandparent- Mrs. Strum. That makes it doubly special to me as Mrs. Strum was so important to me too (she died about 15 yrs ago.) The stole is at least 70 years old, I think, & in beautiful condition.
She told me that R should take me somewhere nice to wear it!

Will got tired of his collared shirt & so just wore a tie for awhile.

Bubby loved a good party so I think he would have loved his reception. Will came for awhile after his nap & enjoyed some juice.

Will helped his Cookie make cookies.... He ate more than he helped, I think!

Just hours after Bubby's death, Will gave his Gigi lots & lots & lots of kisses.

On a break from Hospice, Will got to cuddle with some brand new puppies

One day, we brought Will's baseball stuff to Hospice & he played in the courtyard outside of Bubby's room. He enjoyed playing for Bubby & Gigi.

While Bub was in Hospice, Will would sometimes watch movies...

or go for rides in Bubby & Dorothy's walker
I wasn't sure if it was appropriate or not to take Will to a hospice center. Dorothy was afraid he would be too scared of Bubby to kiss him but he did kiss him & he gave him a high-five. Will doesn't know to be scared of death - he has no concept of it. Mostly he thought Bubby was going "night-night" & so Will offered him his pacifer & his blankee.

On our first night there, when Bub was kind of alert, Will wanted to sing to him. He actually suggested singing, "Te Amo Mucho" (I love you so much). It was precious.

His encore was "Itsy Bitsy Spider." This brought some much needed laughs- I assured Bubby he was the only man in Hospice having that song sung to him!

And after the "ABC's" & "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star," Will wanted to sing, "Jesus Loves Me." He sang it several times to Bubby & Dorothy sang along. It was precious & I was thrilled that Dorothy knew the words- I pray she knows the truth.

Will went for short periods of time to Bubby's room & I am thankful that he did. He brought some much needed smiles & laughter & moments of relief. And he had a chance to tell Bubby he loved him.

But mostly we just loved & prayed & cried with Bubby & Gigi

I miss our Bubby.

Today, it's been one week since his death. I've thought so much about life & the Yiddish phrase, "L'chaim," which Bubby said often. It was a phrase he lived by. And, yet, I'm uncertain as to whether or not he ultimately chose life. I pray he did. I prayed over him as he lay, literally, on his deathbed. My parents & his doctors and other Christian neighbors prayed over him. We begged him to choose Jesus. I don't know how aware he was. He did try to speak some but I usually couldn't understand him. The day he died, I had many hours with him & his eyes were frequently open but it was so hard to tell how aware he really was- especially with the morphine. I had to learn & accept last week that it is not my job to save - that belongs to God.

This was the second Jewish funeral I have attended in recent years. It was so interesting & though I know I am "grafted in," I so wish I had a Jewish background- I wish I understood Hebrew & the significance of so many rituals that are important to our Christian faith. I also know that a Jewish funeral is very difficult in comparison to Christian ones because it is so final - there is no talk of heaven or reunion or hope. Life is simply over. As a Christian, I just want to cry out that there is more - there is hope in the midst of grief.

I have struggled in comforting his wife of 71 years- who misses him desperately. I have struggled in answering Will when he says, "Where Bubby is?" I tell him I hope he is with Jesus. I hope we will see him again. I hope & pray Dorothy will choose Jesus- she is definitely seeking now for some mercy but struggling in reconciling her idea of a good God with the fact that He allowed her husband to die.

At the reception after the funeral, she asked someone how God could let bad things happen. I love their response - it is a truth we claimed a lot during my pregnancy:
God is good, all the time. God is sovereign. I don't have to be able to understand that; I simply have to know it is truth.

I had 2.5 days with Bub last week & a week with Dorothy - I have cried so much with her & laughed some too. I have learned so much about marriage...

& even told her a thing or 2! (Although, I humbly told her I don't know much - I've only been married 6 years - compared to her 71!!!) She needed reassurance about her decision to bring Bubby to Hospice & I had the opportunity to share with her what I've been studying this year- my role in marriage. I told her Bubby had fulfilled his role as a husband in the way God intended by providing for her future & protecting her (such as in selling their home & getting her settled in the apartment) & she had fulfilled her role in submitting to his wishes- taking him to Hospice rather than a hospital. He was ready to go & she honored her husband in her obedience - even though her heart didn't want to say goodbye.

I loved getting to share with a 91 year old woman what God has been teaching me!

I loved seeing how their neighbors took God's command to "love your neighbor" so literally & have faithfully loved this couple. The funeral was mostly made up of people who had been or are neighbors. They came to the reception too. And those of us who took turns at hospice sitting with Bubby & Dorothy were all neighbors. My parents taught me so much about what it means to share your faith by the way you live your life- & by how you demonstrate God's love to neighbors. Those who spoke the eulogies were specifically asked to by Bubby & were either current or former neighbors of his. Two of them are Christians.

Bubby & Dorothy started out as our neighbors but became our family. Dorothy even spent the night in my parents' home the night Bubby died- she wasn't ready to be alone yet & actually spent a great deal of the week at our home - even falling asleep on my mom the night of the funeral. 25 years ago, we never would have imagined that!

I can't say that R & I have embraced all of our neighbors in this way. I'm ashamed to admit that I don't even know all of their names! And I may or may not have once, in a pregnancy induced hormonal state, have called the police anonymously on a neighbor. I am convicted about reaching out & knowing my neighbors - & sharing life with them.

I don't know exactly what God's plan for His choosen people is. I do know that He has choosen them & He has redeemed them repeatedly throughout history - despite their consistent rejection of Him. I also know that Jesus is the only way to God the Father. I do not know what went on between God & Bubby during his last hours. I know he appeared tense & was trying to talk & frequently opening his eyes. He was restless that afternoon. I know he was loved on by Christians for 25 years, that Scripture was read in his room, hymns played & sung, & prayers prayed.
I pray he chose to believe. Thank you for your prayers for our family during this time.

It was a long, long, car ride. Will enjoyed playing "hide & seek" beneath his blanket - over & over again.

I found a girl in my mom's group who is from a nearby town to my parents' & asked her & her 8 month old baby girl to go with us. I was so grateful for the extra help driving!