My computer crashed recently which has made blogging rather difficult... or nearly impossible. This is unfortunate for me as I often just journal my thoughts on my blog but never publish them - it's how I process!
I have, however, enjoyed the "free time" to spend writing to Ellie & sharing my time with her. More on that to come later this week.
Will & I have been out of town for the weekend - spending some time with family & gearing up for the next round of doctor's appointments. We took an entire week off of doctors' appointments -wow! (Of course, he started two new therapy programs last week but that's way better than doctors!)
Today, we head to Dallas again for 4 appointments for Will - x-rays, hand doctors, feet doctors, & test sockets for his new prosthetics. These appointments will span two days. Then, we will drive back to the frontier with my mom who is going to help me complete Will's big boy room and pink up Ellie's room. I want to give her her own space - to believe she will be in our home someday. God keeps giving me a little "flutter" of an idea - I'll post soon!
Not to be left out of an intensive week of doctors, Ellie has an appointment for yet another ultrasound with our perinatologist on Thursday. I should have all of the results back from our testing a week ago by then. Hopefully, we will have some concrete answers and be able to make some treatment plans or know how to begin preparing our hearts and family.
We have told Will, by the way, that his little sister is very sick. I love listening to him pray for her. He still refuses to call her just "Ellie Grace." Rather, it's always, "Caroline Ellie Ellie Grace" as he asks God to "make Caroline Ellie Ellie Grace feel better please." Precious big brother. More on him and how God is impressing upon him I think to begin fulfilling his role now to come soon too.
Emotionally, I feel okay. Maybe I'm numb right now. Maybe I'm dellusional. People have been asking me about my pregnancy - total strangers. I'm enjoying pretending to be "normal" (ha ha) & just telling them her name and her due date for now. The only question I hate is when they ask about her movement. That's one of our issues - how much her movement has declined in the last 6 weeks or so. So that is painful for me as I try to just tell them that when she moves, I love it. But, I haven't cried non-stop for several days now. I feel like I am in some sort of holding place- I'm still begging God for her life but I am also really enjoying this time with her. Mostly, I suppose, I have enjoyed a week long break from doctors and have attempted to get lots done (like laundry) so that if I need to crash again after appointments this week, I can. I am somehow resting in the lack of knowledge for a few days - because I am so keenly aware that my world could easily get rocked again this week.
Anyway, thanks for praying for our safe travel this week and for wisdom and patience and discernment with Sweet Will's various appointments this week.
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