7 years

10 years ago this month...

I met a guy named R... at a famous, old graveyard in Toledo, Spain.

There was no romantic interest really at the time but we quickly became friends.

He met my mom in Madrid on July 4th.

I mentioned to her how much I admired him for his integrity - it was the first thing I fell in love with.

We swam in an ocean off northern Spain.

We got lost in Madrid one day - & he was bright enough to figure out that you can't get lost in a major metropolitan area when you can always get your bearings based on the skyscrapers... & he let me believe we were lost without ruining my fun. (the goal was to get lost & find our way to our homes... don't ask - we were young & dumb)

We rowed a boat in Retiro Park together - & didn't tip it.

We climbed a small mountain on Father's Day that year - somewhere in Spain - & read the Bible together at the top.

We went out one night to Las Cueveras- famous bars in Old Madrid... he did not have a good time (but I did.)

We quickly became friends abroad...

but didn't speak for two months afterwards.

I'm sure I imagined going to Spain to study & meeting my future husband... an exotic, romantic Spaniard with a great accent.

Instead, I met the man I would later marry - a Texan, a man of integrity, & the love of my life (who is often romantic but not so much exotic - & his Spanish stinks. :))

In September of that year, he asked me out.

We began to date.

I realized he was a lot of fun and full of interesting knowledge.

I realized he was super smart.

I learned he was super committed- to lots of organizations.

I liked to kiss him.

We had a lot of similar dreams.

We shared the same faith.

I fell in love... and waited forever it seemed for him to tell me he felt the same way!

We climbed a mountain - a much bigger one in Colorado.

I met his family and he met the rest of mine.

He didn't run away as fast as he could.

We fell in love.

He finally proposed two looong years later, on a beach in California.

We began to imagine and plan for life together.

We planned a wedding and our home.

He was in a graduate program - with only two years to go.

I was working - my first year as a high school (Spanish) teacher.

We did premarital counseling... and thought we could handle anything to come our way - our marriage would be invincible.

We fell more in love and began to count down the days until we were married.

I loved looking at my ring.

He enjoyed planning our honeymoon.

June 28, 2003

We were married at last - in front of hundreds of family & friends.

We celebrated big time!

We went on a fabulous honeymoon - to Peter Island - a small private island in the Caribbean

We came home to make a big decision about R's future career - he changed graduate programs and began an intensive program.

We moved to our first apartment.

I had fun decorating that teeny, tiny place.

We made friends and joined a church.

I worked and he went to school and studied - hard.

We made good friends who let me eat a lot of meals with them while R studied.

We dated - each other - and saw lots of movies.

We cheered for each other's victories.

We travelled to Canada for the first time.

R had two major, emergency surgeries and spent 9 days in a hospital - out of town. I spent 9 days crying. It was very scary on our very young marriage.

Our apartment became infested with ants... on my birthday... and we slept upside down in our bed to avoid them. We bought our first house that week.

We became homeowners.

We planned to lead a mission trip to Guatemala - it fell through due to R's surgeries.

We saved some money and travelled to Europe - Italy, Spain, France, and Northern Africa. We spent a lot of time on some very hot beaches and ate yummy food.

We became pregnant for the first time and for the last time, learned what it was to be "blissfully joyful."

We celebrated the completion of R's graduate program and he found a job!

We celebrated when he passed the most difficult exam of his life - & could therefore keep a job!

We moved across the state - to the "Frontier."

We lost our first baby - and mourned that precious life.

We learned to cry together.

We became pregnant again and learned to celebrate and find joy amidst the fear and anxiety.

We decided to not find out what we were having.

I completed 5 years of teaching.

We learned our baby would have limb differences.

We learned to pray together - to really seek the Lord... together.

We learned how to comfort one another.

We grieved the loss of normal and feared for his or her life.

We celebrated the birth and life of our first born - a son!

We struggled through the realities of raising a child with a disability- the doctors' appointments, the stress, the therapies, the time consuming care required.

We learned that our joy would be greater because every milestone was cause for a family celebration.

We celebrated a lot of milestones.

We learned how to give grace and how to receive it.

We learned how to accept help.

We learned to laugh at life.

We figured out how to do our new normal.

We continued to travel - with a baby! Mexico, and all over the USA

We determined to have another baby.

We celebrated the news that we would have another.

We learned that our baby would be medically fragile - and that no doctor is able to diagnose him or her.

We became fearful for the life of our child.

We learned what it is to beg God for the life of your child...together.

We opened the envelope and learned we were having our first daughter.

We wept tears of joy.

We named her.

We pray for her by name daily together.

We have no idea how to do life with two children with such diverse medical needs - but we know we will figure it out... together.

7 years - lots of joy and fun and celebrations...

lots of tears and fears and pain

It hasn't been easy.

No one said marriage would be easy.

I've read that the divorce statistics for any couple is 50%. When there is a child in the family with a disability, that statistic goes up to 80%. I don't know what it is when there are two children with medical needs.

It doesn't matter.

We are committed to each other.

We have learned (and are continuing to learn) what love really looks like - and how to do life with another person - despite the stress, joy, heartache, and pain that comes with life on this planet.

Happy Anniversary, R-

There isn't another person on this earth I'd rather do life with.

I am thankful for you - for the man that you are and the way you love, protect, and provide for our growing family.

We used to pray every year that God would give us an "easier" year for the following year. (We've had some rough ones - R's surgeries, his intense graduate school program, losing a baby, that first, difficult year with Will, etc!)

Last night, we just decided - through laughter - to ask God for another "year" - we're not asking for easy anymore!

We went on a date this weekend. It was so fun to go out together. We did not discuss the stress in our lives.

We just had fun.

And we realized our last date was in April! Yikes - somehow we've gotten on the quarterly plan!

We are going to change that & seek to go out on weekly (or bi-monthly) dates!