Bathing Beauty at last

My precious Ellie girl  finally got to soak in a bath tonight.

It's been exactly three weeks.

I've sponged bathed her but it's not the same.

The removal of the casts was rough.  Or so I've heard.  I left the room with Will - we didn't want him to be afraid of the noise and saw. R said it was brutal - so noisy and it scared her.  When I entered the room, she was screaming.  

But oh, to feel her soft legs again.  Even with dead skin flaking off everywhere.  She felt so good in my arms.  

Except that her legs and feet are very sensitive right now so I couldn't really rub on them much.

Then, we went to therapy again for the first time in three weeks.  (well, not her first therapy in three weeks as I just started therapy at home on her neck & uppers this week with another therapist... but her first hospital therapy in 3 weeks.)

Bless her heart, Ellie screamed and screamed.  I think her legs and feet are hyper sensitive and sore.  I did notice what appear to be some bruises.  Plus, I'm guessing her surgical incision sites are sore?

She worked herself into such a frenzy that finally her sweet therapist let me hold her in a glider while they worked... and then I unbuttoned her shirt to try to cool her off.  I think we were all working up a sweat listening to her scream.

It just breaks my heart.

Even though I know it's for a good cause (mobility.)

Poor thing didn't get a nap in a bed today until  9pm!

She really enjoyed her soak in the tub.

I actually gave her two baths.  The first one I worked gently to get rid of the dead skin and then I rinsed out all that skin & gave her another good soak and wash.  

After a rough day, I love a good soak in a tub.  Which is why I also took a bath tonight.

(Hard day - surgery was apparently successful on one foot but they may need to repeat it on the other.  I just feel so discouraged- not surprised but discouraged.  Plus, we began the paperwork to set her up for the hip surgery - which I am dreading.  Dreading.)

Perhaps I obsess on the bath thing.  Probably on nursing too.  I think, however, that I love love love bathing and nursing so much for two reasons.

1)  it's normal.  It gives me something normal to discuss with my friends.  It's just a normal mommy thing to do.  I need some normal sometimes.

2)  It's how I can take care of and comfort my sweet baby girl.  She endures more than I can possibly describe.  Besides her frequent doctor appointments and therapy appointments, I am doing therapy at home with her.  It's exhausting and overwhelming.  Even play time has become "work" it seems.  I hold her for doctors to examine.  I sit beside her during therapy.  I try to get her into uncomfortable positions.  I dress her and diaper her and put her in a carseat - all of these simple tasks can be painful sometimes if I'm not careful.

I'm her mommy.

I just want to comfort her and take care of her.

Tonight, I got to mother my daughter as I lovingly gave her a good bath.  

It felt so good for both of us.

And then R held her while I put back on her newest set of splints and she screamed once again.

So I held her and patted her back as she fell asleep on my chest.

Sweet, precious Ellie Grace.