"Look at that big crack in the ground!"
(That's a creek - not a crack. Well, I guess it used to be a creek - back when Texas got rain. So, I suppose now it is just a crack.)
"Mommy, I get frustrated when kids don't understand me. They keep saying I have two fingers and I keep telling them I have three fingers but they just keep saying two. I want them to understand me."
"Mommy, I want to grow up to be a man like Daddy - not like _____ with old skin."
"Mommy, I don't want those other kids to dress up like Batman for Halloween. And what about G who wants to be Batman too when he grows up? We can't both be Batman."
Well, maybe they are just going to be pretend Batmans and you can be the real one. Or you can defend different cities.
"Mommy. When we get home, I'm going to go play 'Heaven.'"
Ummm... how do you play that?
"Well I play with Jesus and Mary and what was her husband's name? Oh yeah, Joseph. And a goat."
"Mommy, are these Batman's breasts?!?" No! Those are his muscles! (Yes, he has a nursing mother.)
Will, why is your bed wet this morning.
"I decided I wanted to surprise you!"
Well. You definitely did.
"Daddy, if you don't talk nicely to my Mommy, you're going to have to marry Lovie!" (daddy's mother in law)