A List
Because I am tired.
Also, I'm almost finished with a good book & can hardly wait to soak in my hot bathtub... one of my favorite features of this house & how I have escape "me" time. (in the middle of the night usually.)
1. We have been looking at lots of schools.
2. I am thankful my mom can keep Ellie while Will & I tour schools. Thanks, Lovie! I know Ellie loves her one on one time with her Lovie. (And I enjoy the time with Will!)
3. I am overwhelmed.
4. I am tired.
5. I thought that maybe we would find just a Perfect school.
6. I'm not sure a "perfect" school exists. I think there are lots of great options and that probably we can be happy at any of them and we just need to choose one, go with it without regrets, and trust God that it will be fine for our family.
7. Easier said than done.
8. Today, at one of our tours, I noticed Will was hiding his hands. I've never seen him do this for an extended period of time. He is so social but when the admissions director kept trying to introduce him to students and have him walk into classrooms, he was very uncomfortable and asked to stay in the hall. She was doing a great job - she just doesn't know what it is like for him when kids stare and ask questions and this was a whole lot of new kids and older children in room after room after room... and it broke me to see my little boy hide his hands because he didn't want to deal with it.
9. My heart hurts. Please tell me he is not ashamed to be different. How I love those little hands. How in the world can I instill that in him - that they are perfect just as they are?
10. And yet I am so stinkin proud of him. He is the bravest kid I know. He marches into the schools and though he may be nervous (understandably) about the kids, he sits down with the principal and the admissions people and he asks questions and carries on conversations and really doesn't need me at all as long as he is dealing with adults.
11. His number one question is "When I go to school here, will you talk to the kids that say I only have two fingers and tell them I have three?"
This is currently his biggest annoyance - for the last twoish years, kids have bugged him about the number of fingers he has - usually pointing out that he has two. Will has three. And he corrects kids but then they argue with him and he practices great restraint by not insulting their lack of math skills. (His mother restrains herself too.) We've finally given him permission to tell kids they need to learn to count. The arguing can be rather unbelievable.
12. Once he has settled that issue to his satisfaction, he proceeded to his next question, "What time do you open and are you open tomorrow? I'd like to go to school here and I'd like to be in that classroom with the cool toy."
13. He came home recently saying "shake your booty." He informed me he learned this from a teacher at his current school in music class. It was verified by another friend from his little preschool. I wasn't sure how I felt about the phrase but decided maybe it was okay to say at home with his family but not in public?
Today, on one of our tours, he met the music teacher. My heart pounded that he might tell her that phrase! Thankfully, we made it out of there with no references to "shaking your booty."
14. We have absolutely no idea what school we are going to choose.
15. Sometimes, we would find that we really liked a lot of things about a school, but on reflection, realized that the building is very inaccessible for Ellie.
16. This frustrates me with her diagnosis. I don't want it to limit her but I also need to be realistic. I don't want to put her in dangerous situations or have her be unable to participate in recess or enrichment classes like art and computer because of extremely steep stairs. My very basic understanding of ADA laws is that privately funded schools do not have to be accessible.
17. Ugh.
18. I'm thankful for principals and teachers who are willing to work with our family and our unique needs - who will let Will use adaptive scissors, who are open to me coming into his class to teach the kids about how he is more like them than he is different (a school I visited a few years ago was very against this,) and who can be flexible with his attendance recognizing that he may miss more days than a typical student due to doctors, prosthetics, and surgery appointments.
19. We still have more schools to look at next week.
20. We make very slow decisions.
22. We looked at a school that resembled a small college campus. It was beautiful. My brain fast forwarded 14 years and thankfully I didn't end up in a heap of tears on an oriental rug. Kindergarten makes me sob - can you imagine me when it is time for college?
23. I just have to convince him to let me go to college too with him and then it won't be so hard, right?
24. I'm going to go to bed. I'm glad we have choices for schools. If you think of it, pray we figure out the best (nearly perfect :)) option for our family?
25. Maybe someday I'll write a book. I could write up my reviews of elementary schools both here and in our previous town. Because I have looked at a lot of schools. And I have visited with a lot of principals. Pretty sure that would not make for fascinating reading.
26. The end.
3 thoughts:
Try three here. Computer keeps rebooting.
Kharan hides his hands not out of being ashamed of body but because it weeds out the really rude from the 'just getting used to me kids'. Really rude will then walk around him and he will spin and the kids will just keep trying to get behind him, sometimes making rude comments. It lets coaches, adults and me know he wants intervention. These are usually kids who won't come out and actually say something. He deals ok with the questioners and most stop when he says his phrase 'The Lord made me this way'.
Kharan has 2 fingers and 5 toys and yep the arguments are ridiculous. Wait to Will draws a stick figure of himself and doesnt put 'enough' fingers or toes on it. The teachers will all say 'how cute, but that's true he only has 2'....Like they expect him to draw it with 10 fingers just because most have 10.
Kharan will clam up and can be really shy BUT if he is annoyed or you've wronged him he sounds like a very angry berating Italian---he's russian but particularly after a tirade where once he even reduced a 12 year old to tears because the boy tried to bully a 5 year old friend of his--people ask if he's Italian.
He has very expressive face and sounds really mean and frightening and when worked up he is right in face scolding. Must have learned at orphanage.
I too looked at every school in area. Nothing was perfect! He would have done great in a Waldorf school in terms of how he learns and all the pretend play but they have very structured hands curriculum requiring knitting, playing recorder, and guided drawing which made it not a possibility.
I picked the closest to perfect and that 12 year old was at the welcome to school picnic. So I get a note at end of week stating how teacher was surprised at Kharan's kindness since he was such and I quote 'an aggressive bully at the picnic causing another boy to be incensed by his atrocious behavior!' She does not believe me that he never had any problems in 2 years preschool or with playground etc... she honestly believes he is angry and aggressive by nature! Always telling me how amazed she is with 'his social skills progress'. So infuriating to me but she is great teacher, just has bad impression of my boy and sees everything good he does as 'improvement' vs his innate goodness.
that's 5 toes. sometimes I read my emails, posts, and comments and can't imagine how I messed up spelling or grammer so badly!
Good luck by the way on the school search. I remember how stressful mine was.
Will Ellie and Will every fully understand the awesomeness of their mom?
Love your precious family of 4!!!!
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