Chasing Tennis Balls in the Minefields

And we're dancing in the minefields

We're sailing in the storm
This is harder than we dreamed
But I believe that's what the promise is for

'Cause he promised not to leave us
And his promises are true
So in the face of all this chaos, baby,
I can dance with you

from "Dancing in the Minefields" by Andrew Peterson

I love this song.  I think it does such a good job of describing marriage.  
We've been married 8+ years and we've known some difficult challenges in our short marriage.  In most ways, this is harder than we ever imagined.  
When we got married in our early twenties, we didn't plan on a very difficult graduate school program for R.  We didn't plan on losing our first baby.  We certainly didn't anticipate two very stressful high risk pregnancies and delivering two very precious children - but each with some significant challenges.  We didn't plan on budgeting for therapies and doctors and planning vacations around surgeries.
But, how thankful I am to have someone to dance with through the heartaches and the pain and the joys and the challenges and the ordinary days and the extraordinary moments.
It's often chaos.
But God has been faithful to strengthen our marriage - to surround us with family to pray and offer practical support, for friends that have confessed they feel convicted to pray specifically for our marriage and churches stand behind us in prayer.

This weekend, my parents kept our kids and despite the fact that Ellie had been sick for four days and I was completely exhausted (very little sleep while she battled that fever) and tempted to just take a long evening nap or go by myself for a pedicure... but we went out.  Together.
On a whim, we grabbed our tennis racquets and had a playdate.
My husband & I had a playdate - no children allowed.
We finally found courts (the first we found were packed, the second were missing nets.)  And we played for quite a while - until it was after dark & I knew I needed to get to my nursing baby.
During one of the high stress times of our marriage, a long time family friend suggested we go on a date - to a movie or somewhere where we couldn't talk.  She suggested we just go and be together but not discuss decisions or crisis.  It was really good advice.
And this time, we needed a night to just play.  We needed to laugh together - and not laugh at one of our kids but with (& at) each other.  We needed to expend energy and play hard.  We needed to play.  
So we did.
And for the record, I did win three games.
(He won more.  The actual final count doesn't matter.)
The point is, we played together and it was just what our marriage needed.
And I think we may have to make more playdates together.

So we didn't actually dance through this minefield.
We hit tennis balls.
(& sometimes chased them.)

3 thoughts:

Mike and Christie said...

What excellent advice! :)

Erin said...

Amazing song. I have replayed it 3 going on 4 times now and looked up the lyrics.

Erika Minich said...

I also love that song. 94.9 plays that song and it is a great song.
Also he said Shadow lands. I wonder if he got that from C.S. Lewis.

Erika Minich

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