12.22.2011

Passionately Giving

Do you find that you stress about giving during this season?
I do.
I hate to admit it.  But I do.
I'm a people pleaser and I want to be a God pleaser and so every single time I see a red kettle and hear a bell or see a Christmas tree filled with manilla colored tags listing wish items or see a sign mentioning a Christmas dinner to be held for the hungry or open my mail to find an envelope just waiting for a check to a worthy cause,
I feel pressure.
Because these are all such good things and there are so many needs & I want to have a part in all of them.
But I don't have the resources or the time to meet every need- and even if I did, that would deny others the blessing of meeting a need.

I want my children to see us give to others and I want them to have hearts that desire to give.

Recently, I felt like God revealed to me that it is more important that my children see us give all year than it is that we simply cram it in during the month of December.
(Although don't get me wrong - I like reinforcing it especially this month as we prepare to open so many gifts!)

And then He reminded me that I can teach my children to give all sorts of things - I can encourage them to give of our excess clothes and toys and food; I can show them how we budget to give financially. 
I can show them how we can use our creativity and our time to give to others.
And I can encourage them to give in areas they are passionate about.  Because the reality is that we can't participate in every single ministry we hear about.  But, when I choose to spend my time or creativity or even money on things I am passionate about, it doesn't feel like giving.
It feels like living and walking alongside others.

I'm passionate about serving women whose pregnancies are in crisis.  
I've been there and I have been served by friends and family and even strangers.
Almost weekly, I receive an email or a phone call about someone somewhere whose pregnancy has just gone into crisis mode - who is expecting a child with some sort of difference or who is not expected to survive or who has experienced the heartache of miscarriage.  
And as I have the opportunity to do so, I try to serve them in some of the ways I was served.  And my family naturally becomes a part of this as we pray for the baby and the mom and as we deliver a meal or take a package of items to the post office.   Will knows about "sick babies" and he understands why we share our dinners with them or mail them packages.  He knows we are trying to show them love. 
Because I am passionate about it, it doesn't feel like giving or even serving.  It just feels right.  It feels like walking alongside another in this life.  And it feels natural.  I want my children to feel natural about their giving.

Every year, at Christmas time, my heart aches for children who are stuck in a hospital.  Two years ago today Will had surgery at a hospital in Dallas.  I most definitely packed a crate full of Christmas decorations and even a little tree.  (I am so "that mom.")  I was going to celebrate Christmas in that hospital room if I had to.
Thankfully, he was discharged in plenty of time but it only cemented more my ache for those still stuck there.
So every year, we've delivered little goody bags to the local hospital's pediatric wing.
But this year, I wanted to do something different.  
So I harassed the local child life specialist and then I saw how much Will & other children recently absolutely loved a magician at a Dallas hospital.
Personally, I'm not a huge fan of clowns.
But, apparently kids like them.:)

So we hired one.

And I knew he was perfect for the job when I discussed my idea on the phone with him and he mentioned that he had worked in this capacity at Texas Children's in Houston and had undergone intensive training.  I knew he would be both comfortable in a hospital setting (not everyone is) & sensitive to the children and their unique medical conditions.

The child life specialist was great and met us on the pedi wing.  She allowed Will to stay & watch a few of his routines as they went room to room.  
Will loved it & has since been performing magic tricks over and over and over for me.
Because of the amount of time we spend in hospitals, Will is not the least bit uncomfortable in a hospital setting.  We feel right at home, in fact.  I am thankful for his sensitivity towards the patients and his desire to make kids smile.  He greeted people and gleefully shouted "Merry Christmas" as we left the child's room.
(He also enjoyed the entertainment in between patients.)
Ellie would wave at the clown but only from the comfort of my arms.
She was content to be held or play quietly in the hallway far away from him.  She did have her eye on one little boy patient about her age who she desperately wanted to play with but I wouldn't let her.
She was a little trooper - having gone to therapy and then missed her nap to participate in our little project.
This didn't meet any practical needs of the children that day.  It certainly didn't help them get out of there faster.
But my hope was that maybe it brought a few smiles.  That maybe it brightened the day of some kids and their moms and dads.  Maybe it just broke up the monotony of hospital world for a bit.
I can't make it better for those patients but I hope we were able to make it magical even if just for a few minutes.

I've found that as God has taught me to listen to my passions and to include my children in that, I've felt freer this season.  I've relaxed more and haven't felt guilty that I'm not buying every single tag off the Angel Tree in the grocery store that I see all the time.  We've had such fun not just giving money where we can but in giving our time.  Will told me as we left the hospital the other day that it was so much fun to make the kids smile.  He got it.  He had more fun doing that than he would have had playing with his toys at home.  I reminded him how he gave of his time to do something for someone else and he got it.  That's so fun as a parent to see something sink into those little hearts.   I've found more joy in our giving as we've participated in several projects that are meaningful to our family.   We've done some anonymous things too and that has been a blast with Will - to watch him watch someone be surprised but have no idea where the surprise came from.  It's been fun to figure out ways to creatively give and to include him.

So as you consider all the many worthy causes to participate in this year, I hope that you too would feel this same freedom and joy - that you would find your passions and figure out ways to give within what excites you.  And maybe you are way ahead of me in this but know too that it doesn't have to happen just this month.  There are so many great causes and ministries and organizations that need our help year round.  I think it may be better to teach our children about giving all year - to just make that a part of our life and to include them in that and let go of that December pressure or guilt.
(Not that we couldn't always give more - by all means I know I should give more - I'm just trying to point out that I shouldn't beat myself up every time I walk through the grocery store without grabbing all the Angel Tree tags.)

We were also matched with our Compassion children recently and I can't wait to share that fun story with you - it's so God & I love how He worked it out!!

4 thoughts:

Kristin said...

I used to want to give to every worthy cause and there are many.

But I've narrowed it down to a few and one in paticular that I'm very passionate about.

We had an amazing friend named Elli when we lived in Cincinnati. She was 6 when we met her. Elli's had multiple congenital heart deformities. She has had severe CP and could not talk, stand, sit or roll over.

She was someone that was not valued much by society. But she changed my life. I am a better person for knowing Elli. It is because I met her that I can cope much more easily with my own child's Autism diagnosis. She put things in perspecitvie for me and I'm better able to realize that it's just Autism

We make significant donations to her charity in the month of birth and also of the month of her death. It seems the most appropriate way to honor someone that played such significance in my life.

but sometimes my kids remember her (we now live far away from her family) and then we send a small donation of $5.

It's our small way of honoring her life.

Kristin said...

I used to want to give to every worthy cause and there are many.

But I've narrowed it down to a few and one in paticular that I'm very passionate about.

We had an amazing friend named Elli when we lived in Cincinnati. She was 6 when we met her. Elli's had multiple congenital heart deformities. She has had severe CP and could not talk, stand, sit or roll over.

She was someone that was not valued much by society. But she changed my life. I am a better person for knowing Elli. It is because I met her that I can cope much more easily with my own child's Autism diagnosis. She put things in perspecitvie for me and I'm better able to realize that it's just Autism

We make significant donations to her charity in the month of birth and also of the month of her death. It seems the most appropriate way to honor someone that played such significance in my life.

but sometimes my kids remember her (we now live far away from her family) and then we send a small donation of $5.

It's our small way of honoring her life.

Katie - a Blessed Mommy! said...

Kristin- that's not small at all- what a beautiful way to honor her life and teach your children! I'm sure her parents so appreciate your honoring of their daughter so very much. Remembering her teaches others that her life was valued and significant.
Thanks for sharing!

Miles said...

So sweet! We spent Mason's first Christmas at TMF last year. 6 days in the hospital, including Christmas. :( It was heartbreaking, but I still remember each and every visitor and how they cheered us up. Great idea Katie!

Nicole

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